Holla!! Happy New Year to all!!!

Well well well.. my numb arms are crying for mercy, cramped legs are in need of massage , sore knees are starting to bulge enormously...What a way to start a new year... something special huh?! LOL! Yea, it was my first time skiing. What an experience... But I kinda like it ( when I dont fall helplessly). The first try on that "easy" hill still haunts me.. " It's so steep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" " Dont worry about it!!!!" my fearless cousins replied. I fell to many times, uncountable, terstreched my waist, kinda twisted my knee and wrist. It's very hard to get up from a fall, especially on slopes...but overall, special thanks to my cousins , who patiently taught me...

So.. just a couple of minutes to year 2008.. looking back, what have I done? Have I been strengthening my faith in Christ? have i been doing good work? Have I consider the goodness of the Lord? Hmph.... here comes new year, common questions " what's your new resolutions?" " Erm......." there are lots, but not all of them are achievable. So, why not make it simpler?

My brain is not functioning well now..mentally exhausted as well.

Have a blessed year ahead! God bless =)

oO

Eh.. Nothing much. Just out of boredom. Going to church tomorrow. =) Hopefully can have "pho" ( Vietnamese noodle) with my aunt and family!! Hopefully can get a reasonable-price hair cut before heading back to campus..

Everything happen in a glimpse of eyes. Still denying that lessons will be commencing in just a couple more days. " but I still need more rest..." " yayayaya...." excuses has spread its wings flying all over, polluting every single atoms of air.

Guess I have no choice but to work hard lor.

Monday.. I will be going for skiing with my cousins. Hmph.. it's so damn scary. I don't feel like going, frankly speaking. It's so expensive and I have phobia doing that.. Unlike my cousins, who are so adventurous..Just pray hope that I will come back in one piece.

Good times.......

it's nice to be part of a family.......

Whitie christmas

Happy to know that 2 of my sisters got baptized this christmas. How wonderful.. Pretty sure everyone is overwhelmed with joy.. =)
Surprised to receive a call from special friends too.. thanks!!!

So, Christmas! Different celebration of Christmas this year.. It's time to get out of the orthodox-way of celebrating huh? Let's see what I have here.. Snowy Christmas-pine trees all around.. buildings lightened up with decorative lights like ginger bread house from afar.. Nothing of much interest , actually. Apart from that, I celebrate Christmas without my long-winded family members, without attending church, without my trust-worthy friends with me either.. HMPH..... this is the 1st " special" Christmas I will be going to have for the next few years.... hopefully not forever.............................

BUT.. I am having quite some feasts here.. they are my aunt's church friends...Food was amazing, undoubtedly...but it's weird as I don't know anyone there (excluding my cousins) and I don't talk much due to the culture barrier thingie.. It's either I can't hear what they say, or I don't understand their joke, or worst, I do not find their jokes funny. yea yea.. it's kind of a different world. BUT i have no place to go... I need to appreciate for this hospitality my aunt provided.

Next sem will be gonna be a tough one. Pray hard. So many things going on previous days.. Found out that my timetable clashes... lots of changes to make, which need advisor's opinion, but she's not available for the moment.......blah blah blah..

Neways... Happy New Year! Have a great and blessed year ahead! =)

It is not that bad afterall.

Previously... I used to think that being alone is the most frightening things.. Always it is that I will fuse myself into a group, care not who they are, fun or boring, worldly or godly, not obedient or nerds, drunker or smokers. The concept of being part of a group, although just a small little tiny bit of the circle, that would be fine. HOWEVER, I found out that this should not be the case. I am too prone to letting people leading me instead of me doing that. I have no strong stand, nor a decisive-decision maker. Unfortunately, is this part of my character? and that I could not change it? May God answer me. I trust that he will,eventually, although it might not be the way I want it to be.

Went downtown for chest test yesterday. Was praying that he will lead me there safely as it is a far away place. Yes he did. Thank Him upon that. That hospital was far from where I was dropped down. around 30 minutes of walking uphill. Panting for breath, while anxiously looking for road signs. I overshot a road, and turned back as it was not the right path. Walking and walking and all alone, I started to pay attention to every single objects. These common things, grass, trees, flowers,roads, cars, buildings, sky....Yet, I did not appreciate them before. Being alone stirs up my own perceptions for things, own decision, own thoughts. Aint that beautiful? It just amazes me " WOW"

Bible study... on Ephesians 3. Paul, a prisoner, chained, was still so enthusiastic in writing passages. God works through him.. His love for us is so abundant, unconditional, never ending. Arent we selfish to love ourselves more than we love him? Strongly hope that we are His fellow heirs, inheriting all his will when we are in the Celestial City. =) He will grant you, according to the riches of His glory.

To Him be the glory, great things he has done.......

=)

I've just finish writing my 2nd case study... Really don't like management at all, maybe I still need time to adapt? I just don't understand it..I 've got back my result for first case study..my mark was below average,but it was 7.8 out of 10. Disappointed as my friends can do much better than I do, but the fact that they did it last minutely!!! This is so unfair! I spent so much effort on it, no matter how much I put, I will never get it... Yeap,no one said this is a fair world.. I can't wait to go to the celestial city.

Talked my dear yesterday, I was relieved talking to her, everything seemed to be back in time. So many sweet memories.. we talked about our previous classmates, everything that is happening...I was very emotional.. missing these sweet memories.. but yet, a flash of advice from someone reminded me about dangers in certain memories came across my mind..

Did not sleep well yesterday.. Sometimes, soundly sleepers has its advantages..My roommate has a concept of " timeless" .. She studies whenever she is not tired.. not bounded by any time rule.. Often it is that she sleeps for few hours and then wake up for study purposes. Even it's 5am..I did not say that's wrong or it affects me.. BUT she sleeps like nobody's business. She can't hear when the alarm's+ hp's ringing..And often it is that I will be awaken by that... in the middle of night..guess she is too too tired at all times...Hope that it does not happen that often..

A spiritual fellowship that keeps me away from paces of life, temporarily. Hurray, BS!! Hope that I can open my heart to receive God's word fully. Amen ^^

=) The happiest morning ever since I am in Canada...

Yup, I have got to get my butt up and go to church no matter what happened. I promised myself. I did not believe that I actually fulfilled my promise. Because I usually don't,pathetically, yes. Either I am making unrealistic goals, or that I am procrastinating. God knows it all. Sinners Jesus came to call =) Thankfully, I was moved by the Holy Spirit through out the whole process. The whole hassle is still vividly floating in my mind, looking for directions, emailing for confirmation, reading their web page for information.

My second visit to this Chinese church. First time was with my lovely aunt, she used to attend the church when she was at my age. I urge for God's message desperately. Guess that's why I ended up there, despite loads and piles of drudgery work. All those -- I have set aside, temporarily. Their way of worship is a little different from my previous ones, although not charismatically, there are still something missing. Now I do appreciate Pastor Poh's preaching, so immensely in depth and feeling replenished.

I will stay firm on my believe and my way of worshiping. =) May it be so.

The Holy Spirit moves my heart again when I was showered with God's word. I have learnt a lot, indeed. We humans are simply selfish, aren't we? We often said that we put God as our first priority, but deep inside our heart, only a handful of them meant what they said.

Just a story I heard to share with...

" One day, Jesus asks his people to meet him at the top of mountain , He also asks them to carry a stone with them...... Paul did carry a stone, but a small one.. After Lord's preaching and prayer, He turned his people's stone into manna... Paul was upset as his was just a small one........
Another day, Jesus asks his people again to gather beside the sea, and too carry a stone with them. This time, Paul brought a huge stone... But after Lord's preaching and prayer, he asks his people to throw their stone into the sea... Paul was mad.......... "

I am glad that I was there, receiving Lord's message that quenches my thirst.
And that there are hymn books with hymns that I have sang before... =) familiarity strikes me as I glance through all the songs... was kinda hugging it throughout the service. Unfortunately, they do not sing hymns from the book... HMPH!

Anyways, I am very satisfied.Happy~~~~~~ ^^

Lesu sekali...

Sudah lebih daripada sejuta ribu kali jam menetik, setiap detik menemai ku sepanjang malam yang sunyi sepi.. Kenapa? Kenapa ku perlu menjalani hidup sedemikian, yang tidak bertaraf normal, yang mengharamkan badan letih ku.. Sungguh menderai diriku... Patutnya Tuhan menghakimi ku yang tidak menjaga pemberian-Nya....

Bilakah semua ni akan tamat dengan tanda nota? tidak sekali hari itu akan menjelang? Perasaan risau membinggui ku...
Cukup! Ku tidak akan membuat sedemikian lagi!

Rumah... Rindu sekali buat kali pertama... Sekarang barulah ku menyedari silaturrahim yang tidak akan putus dicincang air buat selama-lamanya..

Ya, itulah harapan terbesar ku.. biarlahnya menjadi dorongan ku mulai dari detik istimewa ini.

Hmph..

I had my midterm for food fundamentals today... Initially I thought it was the easiest subject among all and "BINGO " I was wrong. Staying up late to study does not seem to work for me.. but why? I have noticed that I have selective reading... often it is that I will miss out a part or a sentence or a word, which is very important.. Realizing that I do not really study with my mind, or do I? I have no idea.. I always have this problem..." this term.. seemed familiar, what is it already.... " Am I useless? God's creations are never useless though,arent they?

Stress gradually overtakes my monotonous lifestyle.... for good or for bad? Busy till I put my health at stake, worth it? benefiting? I wonder. I take things seriously and will be hurt easily... Am I too sensitive? A friend told me, "you are not...." Finally realized that I take worldly things so close to my heart, until petty things cause harm to God's temple. Yea, I have been living in denial that I am repenting all these while... Sinners, yea, indeed I am one of them. Lord, teach me your way.. let me not to be rebellious.. ><

" Look forward" - that's what we should be doing when we faced obstacles... But hey, do not do it in a rush, stand at your spot at this moment, cogitate wisely what happened in the past that failed you, and not to repeat this mistake again. This is one of the ways of self-improving, in my opinion. Yea, it is always difficult to discipline oneself. But PRAY hard!

I hereby thanks everyone for their prayers and words of encouragement. =) Sweet~~

maple trees

Tired

I am tired. physically and mentally. Why things just could not stop at its way, why does things go and come again.. It's just will not stop.. forever... Homework!! Assignments!!!Mid terms!!! There is no place for me to hide myself from these frightful words. All I have to do is to confront them, to be in peace with them..I have no choice. Yea, talking about choices, I had a discussion on " our choices" during last week's BS.. The question sounds like " If God has predestined all things, how come we have choices? " We indeed have, God gave us choices, He knows exactly what pops up in our mind and what is the next step we are taking..Indeed He's the amazing God overall..

A grandma of a friend is counting her days.. tick... tick... tick... tickling of the clock signaling a closer call from the Lord. I still couldnot accept the fact, but that's nothing but the fact. She was once a healthy person, we were always talking and laughing. I like her alot. I still remember the days, sweet memories, her smile, cheerful and brings happiness. I cant believe that it's time.. but God, isnt it too soon?? Nah, it's God's will. May she be in peace. Pray for her relatives for their strengths and zeals.. That's all we can do.

Yea, no one can be strong at all times, except for the Lord. I seldom fall sick. But now I do. I dont like the fact that I am sick.. feeling weak...helpless.. Mom used to feed me with herb-rich soup whenever I am sick. Haha, I regret not appreciating it at that moment.

Did badly for my last midterm for biochem. Trying hard for the coming mid term..
God bless everyone. =) May everything to be done in His will.

So, what now?

Everyone asks the same question : How'r your classes? well..from academic aspects, some are fine, and I am struggling in some too.. eg management theories and practise. * what is that all about?? Each time I listen to the lecturer, my eyebrows frowned in confusion.. It's tough for me to understand everything he said, and what more to say to key into my brain..I feel hopeless.. Maybe this is the first time having this kind of subject,because all the time I was having biology,chemistry, physics and maths.. all i need is time to adapt to new things - words to comfort myself, it works huh? And I really miss my college lecturers, they are much better and entertaining..

I have 6 hours of break in between my classes. Thank God I live in the rez, really pity those who traveled from home and need to "stuck" in school for 6 boring hours...But i am wondering , " what about me? what have I been doing?Have I been trying on something meaningful and fruitful? " Unfortunately, the answer is NO and My sinful heart refuse to accept the truth.... * DING DING DING DING~!!!! it's time to change , to improve to a better me.. =) * i hope so =P

Have been experiencing alot of things alone lately, and actually it's not too bad to be alone at times, because I get to breathe, breathe fresh and silent air!!! I do appreciate time when I am alone now, where I can just do whatever I want to do and not to " act based on ppl's expression.." It is kinda challenging for me to be so tolerate with my roommate..everything must has its limits! Maybe God is testing my patience? My courage to speak up? I dont know... May God's will to be done..

So, what now? When I was in Taylors, I was really excited on fridays.. and counting down to the weekends I will be enjoying.. but now? I dont..some of my floor-mates went back to their lovely home, and it's even more quiet now.. ><

Anyways, enjoy your weekends!!! =)

A comforting day =)

Things that happened and revolved around me are far beyond my expectation. I did not imagine that there are much more sophisicated things that I have to experience when I first came here. The most obvious thing is the culturer shock that I am experiencing, I just couldnot stop saying " WOW" Especially the drinking culture, beer just seemed like water to them. Yea, it's part of their culture...and who am I to judge them? noway..
"Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All things indeed are pure, but it is evil for the man who eats with offense." Romans 14:20 To me it sounds like, nothing is bad in the eyes of God, as long as it does not stumble your pilgrim pathway..* It does not mean I can drink whenever I want to. I really appreciate that God has sent people in advising me on this matter. Thank God!!! And thankyou-you-know-who!!!
Always it is that I do not feel comfortable living in a far far away land from home, things are so different here. However, I know that this is God's will for me to stay here and I will listen to him loyally. Stay strong all of you out there who is struggling with obstacles!!! At least, I know that I am not alone, I have God around me wherever I go,guiding me, and too, my group of sisters and brothers.
I managed to talk to a sister today, and I really feel belonged. =) So happy now!!!! I just cant describe the feeling. thankyou!!!
"Comfort, yes comfort my people! '' Isaiah 40:1