Life is like a brief candle

So teach us to number our days,That we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

No one will successfully stop time and "rewind" the past.. Incredible scenes in " the heroes " kept us pondered whether this would be possible in the future.. There's so many things to be done, the lists go on and on, and we only have a lifetime to do them. A lifetime sounds never-ending, but soon, everything is going to terminate.

The older you get, the more you'll feel that life is like a brief candle, I like the analogy of describing life as toilet roll, the more it rolls out, the faster it is to complete a cycle (a year, in this case).
Since, you only have the one and only one chance to live on earth, why don't we live it to the fullest?

I've been slacking for the past weeks, doing merely nothing except for the basis of human needs, sleep , eat and entertainment. But, I could have spend the holidays wisely eh? It's always easier to say than to do it in action, and I failed doing that again.. I should have chose a better way of spending my holidays, I should have get organized with plans, ................etc.............

Too many things, we couldn't accomplish it all unfortunately, so, I've learnt to choose, make priorities over another, know what should be done, and what not (entertainment) and put a balance line in between. And the most important one, is to have a strong determination and be Focus!

Everyone ought to make new year resolutions, but do they really help? Well, I made some last year, and thank God for the consistency, I managed to do it.. Hopefully you all can head towards your goal,
Happy New Year!

Is it for better or for worst?

In a moody Sunday afternoon, with my gastric juice still secreting actively, stomach undergoing retropulsion, grinding huge particles into chymes, with mixture of secretions, busy-ness of the pyloric sphincter closing and opening every 5 seconds... resulting from the huge portion of does-not-taste-so-good pho noodle (Vietnamese cuisine), suddenly came into mind that I could just blot out everything here since I'm bored.

Was spending time at my aunt's an enjoyable one? Well.. not really. But, I guess, it's worst to stay in the ghost-house-liked residence as everyone is away for vacation or etc.. Sometimes, you just cant be too long in another family, no matter how close are you to them, in terms of blood-related/ intimacy-related. because you just can't fit into their boat. You'll sink, or else you'll cause them all to sink. Duh, of course, with my personality, it's always " my choice" naturally but unfortunately to just "fade away" and become invisible intrinsically.

Today's experience was a horrible one, but through time, I guess I "adapt" better now. Waiting at church at the corner for my aunt to end her conversation with a cheong hei aunty. (so that we could head for lunch and then go home) Impatiently looking at the clock every one-of hundredth seconds, anxiously hiding myself at a corner, hoping no one will see my awkward condition, surrounded by many on-top-of-fashion's-bandwagon universities students, giggling and gossiping around...

5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes have passed.. that's awkward, you know? strange that no one will ever come to approach you and place their concern, that's so unlikely compared to my former church. Maybe, this is a bigger church, with everyone living in their own group of world?? T.T I felt un-belonged. It happens in MCAC too. why.

Scanning at the beautiful photos of my friends traveling around the world envies me. Why don't I have such a group of friends? Even, the JPA-scholars that came to McGill went to Toronto for vacation.. They dont' even bother to invite you.. cuz they are JPA scholars and I'm what? Ling, another Malaysian who came to McGill on decision (like me), was not part of it too. That's pathetic...

The seniors always talk about their happiest life during University times. How they did this and that with bunch of crazy friends, without any worries etc... Erm, well? I-think-this-is-the-happiest-moment-in-life. ?

I don't belong here , do i? Just leave it to God. Meantime will try to enjoy as much as I could.
Thank you that You gave me life so that I can experience all these, be grateful at all times.

Thank you, Dear Lord.

Enlightened.

Things don't seem that easy as thought. Many obstacles popped out of no where, unfortunately, unstable as I stand in faith, i was irritated and frustrated. Complaints were the only thing that came out of my sinful mouth.

Waking up at 4am , with eyes opened "brightly" ( Chinese idiomatic expression) Suffering from jetlag ( still?) or Emptiness in heart? By then, i realize that I need to hear the gospel. I need guidance from the Lord Almighty. So, decided to go to church today instead of taking a week off before sem starts. Praying hard and hoping HE will bring me through this.

2Tim 4:1-22
Paul was writing his last book, advising Timothy to preach God's word enthusiastically. As a preacher, he was warned to be prepared from excruciating loneliness. v 10 for "Demas has forsaken me, having loved this present world and has departed.." v 16 " at my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me." BUT , BUT v 17 " the Lord stood with me and strengthened me" =)

How wonderful is HE. He's the Lord Jesus Christ, our friend, our savior, He will nvr nvr disappoint us nor leave us! Don't you sense the peacefulness and are comforted? I Smile in joy tears, thanking God that he answered my prayer. How wonderful HE is that he shown me too much miracle!

v 7 paul says
" I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith "
Have you?

Greediness in wanting to listen more to God's word led me once again to step into the congregation of Chinese's session.
LUke 12 : 22
" Therefore I say to you, dont' worry about your life, what you will eat ; nor about the body, what you will put on. Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing"

Yes, May it be that way.

WooHoO~~

Can't believe I am left with less than a week of stage! =) Friendship has been building up since the past weeks. and Soon, we'll be heading for our long-waited summer vacations!! But, now I am starting to miss the stagiers. Thankful that I had a great team this year as everyone is helping and sharing their experience with each other.

OK. I nearly forgot that I am going back home, YES , i mean HOME = MSIA~~ Finally.
Guess this stage thing is obstructing my vision! That' s what I was longing for..and should start counting down.. ;)

10 more days till I step onto the wonderful land of Msia!

Feel like years

Time is passing extremely slow due to the anxiety and stress about this internship. Weekends are the only thing that we look forward to. Counting the days when we could put all this to a full stop, temporarily, of course keeping our finger crossed as well that no one fails.

Preserve on. God bless.

I............miss my grannies

The title said it all.

and Pray hard.

Done with exams!

Hoorey! I 'm finally done with them and thankGod that I do not need to redo the half-of-the-class-fail biochem2 because I passed!!! =) Yeah! Life goes on, no retaining years, And I could do my stage!!

Still, keep my finger cross that I won't screw up my calculus 2 this summer... if not, i can't imagine what's gonna be, it will be terrible. ><

3rd day staying in downtown Montreal, the 3rd biggest city in Canada. it has been my dream since I have been here.. (PS: my campus is a far-away-1-hr-drive frm downtown-outskirt campus ; and they dont offer summer courses, so, finally I could attend school in downtown!!!) ^^AMAZING! Everything is driving me crazy here, the crowds, the buildings, the restaurants, the complexes, the traffic..........

Staying with my friend currently at an 3 1/2 apartment for 3 months. The room is so huge compared to MAC campus's ,feeling so comfortable on the double-sized bed, 2 meters-wide book shelf, well-furnished wardrobe and study table, and a head-to-toe mirrow! Also, I could have my own kitchen, fridge and washroom!! Love this place so so so much!!!!!!

Exploring the school today after my first class... it;s pretty huge and fascinating!! with 12 libraries and main one even has 6 floors plus efficient printers + facilities!!
This stay is really an eye opener to me =)

24 hours

Listening to the familiar, particularly slow tickling of clock..........

Give me a fast forward!!!

24 hours... and I will be done with the semester!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =) ThankGod for everything!

Unexpected tears

The buzzing of the cellphone alerted me from my boredom amongst books. I was overwhelmed. It was a close friend whom I have not talk to since exam (because everyone was busy). We were happily chatting off..

Until..

She started to convert my attention to her main point, unpredicted, it came out all of a sudden, without me being prepared. I can't describe it, I dont know how. My heart suddenly felt burdened, cheated, disappointed, although that's only a minute issue.

Conversation ended with " Erm.. Ok. bye" awkwardly. I felt troubled, but I was without tears. I cant concentrate on my studies, meanwhile grabbing crazily for "Ferrero Rocher" believing the fact that it would calm me down. IT DID NOT.

MY heart was so so so uncomfortable, leading me to pull out my little bible & Pilgrim bible notes. Ah-ha! The title for today sounding" Why do you look so sad today" touched my heart. Tears began to flow,blurring my vision. As I read on, God was talking to me! " Dear believer, are you looking sad today? Hope in God, casting all your care upon him, for he cares for you" (Psalm 42:5,11)

Shedding tears..unstoppable.

Tears of Joy! For God knows this day will come, and that he knows what will happen to me! Also, written in the text that " when God is with us, there are no "chance"happenings in our lives" Everything is so appropriately planned!

God is amazing. He once again showed me. I WANT TO SHOUT " GOD IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Fellow friends, REJOICE IN HIM!!!!!!!!!

And~~~ I am comforted now =)

Back to work!!!

I feel like going home

I am tired.. just lost the mood and motivation to keep it up. I had enough sleep , not physically weakened.. but just I feel tired.

Can't imagine how it will gonna be...

One after another

Psychology's theogies could finally being filtrate down my brain. What's next? 2 more to go ....food lab exam and stage quiz.. although they don't contribute much to the finals' mark.... still.. it's stressfuL! How could the school give us so many midterms when finals are around the corner?? in 2 weeks time!!! I can't believe it. Unfortunately the cruel exams are snatching me unreleased!

Yo! If this matter persist, I am afraid I will have anxiety disorder! It's a process, you never know when it started to lurk into your life! Maybe I am already on my way there...................................zzzzzzzz.............

Did holiday just ended?? =.=

My "passion" for school is so immense till the second-hand of the clock swept faster to accommodate my excitement...

GRRRHH!! 4 days have passed, as if it was just a second ago.. Looking back, proud of myself being accomplish something great- slacking..
Mmm.. I've to speed up again in this race, sometimes, isn't it just better falling down and being forfeited in this race since the probability of being the champion is undefined.

GO GO GO~

Happy Easter

Today's sunday service is all about Jesus's resurrection.. Jesus is borned again, indeed!

Didn't know MCAC has a baptism on this Easter Service. So , basically today it's mostly about sharing and conviction of faith of fellow young brothers and sisters at church. Yes, you could get baptized- full immersion in water when you trust in the Lord, and want to shine as child of God for the rest of your life, and want to be reborned in Christ.
" Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come! " 2 Corin. 5:17

Baptism is not necessarily equivalent to - be saved. But it's a gateway to be saved. I felt peacefulness at heart when listening to some of their profession of faith... many questions are lingering into my brain now.........

Erm.. FYI, i got placed into a Jewish General Hospital this summer for internship, it wasn't any of my 4 choices, ( guess the "popular hospitals" have no more vacancies) unfortunately. I prayed hard not to be sent to any Jewish Hospitals as there are often issues.... However, I will try my best in everything. Complain nor mourn not, for God has a plan for me!

Midterm........assignments..................plans..................................babOOM***

Sry for keeping you waiting

I am bored. Basically there are tonnes of things lining up to be completed. Time is running out. I am so drowned with work! No one knows why. And i just dont feel like doing.

Happy Easter everyone. It's so quiet here in campus, people are back home celebrating this long weekend. Memories festered in my mind, reminiscing the time when i first got here, and that particular day when my parents left me, everything is so vividly clear. I miss them, I miss home. Forever i want to be protected by them, all worries are taken care by them.. Unfortunately, the life cycle does not permit that to happen... Time doesn't just stop at that sweet time. But God has his way..I just have to trust and obey and walk right with him.

I have to stop complaining.. BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *zip up your mouth!*
Phil 2:14-16 " Do everything without complaining or arguing , so that you may become blameless and pure........in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold the word of life"

How's everyone doing there? I just dont feel like blogging for the past few months. So sry.. and letters frm Msia have arrived.. I wrote half of it long time ago, and i stopped. Guess I have to rewrite it since everything has passed...

My roommate is not around, I am feeling so lonely. can't imagine how it's gonna be when I will be in a single room next year.. Anyways, guess I have to get back to my studies. ><