It is not that bad afterall.

Previously... I used to think that being alone is the most frightening things.. Always it is that I will fuse myself into a group, care not who they are, fun or boring, worldly or godly, not obedient or nerds, drunker or smokers. The concept of being part of a group, although just a small little tiny bit of the circle, that would be fine. HOWEVER, I found out that this should not be the case. I am too prone to letting people leading me instead of me doing that. I have no strong stand, nor a decisive-decision maker. Unfortunately, is this part of my character? and that I could not change it? May God answer me. I trust that he will,eventually, although it might not be the way I want it to be.

Went downtown for chest test yesterday. Was praying that he will lead me there safely as it is a far away place. Yes he did. Thank Him upon that. That hospital was far from where I was dropped down. around 30 minutes of walking uphill. Panting for breath, while anxiously looking for road signs. I overshot a road, and turned back as it was not the right path. Walking and walking and all alone, I started to pay attention to every single objects. These common things, grass, trees, flowers,roads, cars, buildings, sky....Yet, I did not appreciate them before. Being alone stirs up my own perceptions for things, own decision, own thoughts. Aint that beautiful? It just amazes me " WOW"

Bible study... on Ephesians 3. Paul, a prisoner, chained, was still so enthusiastic in writing passages. God works through him.. His love for us is so abundant, unconditional, never ending. Arent we selfish to love ourselves more than we love him? Strongly hope that we are His fellow heirs, inheriting all his will when we are in the Celestial City. =) He will grant you, according to the riches of His glory.

To Him be the glory, great things he has done.......

=)

I've just finish writing my 2nd case study... Really don't like management at all, maybe I still need time to adapt? I just don't understand it..I 've got back my result for first case study..my mark was below average,but it was 7.8 out of 10. Disappointed as my friends can do much better than I do, but the fact that they did it last minutely!!! This is so unfair! I spent so much effort on it, no matter how much I put, I will never get it... Yeap,no one said this is a fair world.. I can't wait to go to the celestial city.

Talked my dear yesterday, I was relieved talking to her, everything seemed to be back in time. So many sweet memories.. we talked about our previous classmates, everything that is happening...I was very emotional.. missing these sweet memories.. but yet, a flash of advice from someone reminded me about dangers in certain memories came across my mind..

Did not sleep well yesterday.. Sometimes, soundly sleepers has its advantages..My roommate has a concept of " timeless" .. She studies whenever she is not tired.. not bounded by any time rule.. Often it is that she sleeps for few hours and then wake up for study purposes. Even it's 5am..I did not say that's wrong or it affects me.. BUT she sleeps like nobody's business. She can't hear when the alarm's+ hp's ringing..And often it is that I will be awaken by that... in the middle of night..guess she is too too tired at all times...Hope that it does not happen that often..

A spiritual fellowship that keeps me away from paces of life, temporarily. Hurray, BS!! Hope that I can open my heart to receive God's word fully. Amen ^^

=) The happiest morning ever since I am in Canada...

Yup, I have got to get my butt up and go to church no matter what happened. I promised myself. I did not believe that I actually fulfilled my promise. Because I usually don't,pathetically, yes. Either I am making unrealistic goals, or that I am procrastinating. God knows it all. Sinners Jesus came to call =) Thankfully, I was moved by the Holy Spirit through out the whole process. The whole hassle is still vividly floating in my mind, looking for directions, emailing for confirmation, reading their web page for information.

My second visit to this Chinese church. First time was with my lovely aunt, she used to attend the church when she was at my age. I urge for God's message desperately. Guess that's why I ended up there, despite loads and piles of drudgery work. All those -- I have set aside, temporarily. Their way of worship is a little different from my previous ones, although not charismatically, there are still something missing. Now I do appreciate Pastor Poh's preaching, so immensely in depth and feeling replenished.

I will stay firm on my believe and my way of worshiping. =) May it be so.

The Holy Spirit moves my heart again when I was showered with God's word. I have learnt a lot, indeed. We humans are simply selfish, aren't we? We often said that we put God as our first priority, but deep inside our heart, only a handful of them meant what they said.

Just a story I heard to share with...

" One day, Jesus asks his people to meet him at the top of mountain , He also asks them to carry a stone with them...... Paul did carry a stone, but a small one.. After Lord's preaching and prayer, He turned his people's stone into manna... Paul was upset as his was just a small one........
Another day, Jesus asks his people again to gather beside the sea, and too carry a stone with them. This time, Paul brought a huge stone... But after Lord's preaching and prayer, he asks his people to throw their stone into the sea... Paul was mad.......... "

I am glad that I was there, receiving Lord's message that quenches my thirst.
And that there are hymn books with hymns that I have sang before... =) familiarity strikes me as I glance through all the songs... was kinda hugging it throughout the service. Unfortunately, they do not sing hymns from the book... HMPH!

Anyways, I am very satisfied.Happy~~~~~~ ^^